Life never stays the same, that’s a mixed blessing. Transitions are an unsettling time for
anyone. One of my favourite books is The Catcher in the Rye. I have a huge desire to be a “catcher in the
rye” for my son right now.
Recently we said goodbye to our hospital’s paediatrics team
who have looked after my son and monitored his difficulties for the last
14yrs. The nurse had to stand on a chair
to measure him and his knees reached his ears as he sat in the children’s
weighing chair, it only seems like yesterday when his feet used to dangle. He donated his huge Thomas the Tank Engine
train set (including trains!) to the paediatric department and the children’s
ward where he had spent quite a bit of time in his younger days. He said it was
“just like Toy Story III” and I was a little choked when we walked out for the
final time.
My son attends an amazing school that provides him with all
the support he needs. He has built up a
good group of friends there. Any parent of a child with Autism will tell you
how much it means for their children to have friends. He wants to leave. He wants to go to college to study carpentry. We have to choose a college. I haven’t been sleeping well. One interview with the ”Head” of Supported
Learning at a college quite local to us didn’t go well. The “Head” kept asking my son to look at her,
something he can’t do when he doesn’t know someone well. When I asked about bullying and my concerns
about my son being with mainstream students she told me that “You can’t wrap
him up in cotton wool all the time” it would be something he’d have to learn to
deal with.
It has taken my son most of his life to find his identity, to
feel accepted, overcome alienation and be happy with who he is. The loss of all
of that would be devastating for both of us. So I’m sorry Mrs “Head” but go
boil. Oh that feels so rebellious.
Mainstream will have to fight the battle of acceptance too. It’s not “wrapping
him up in cotton wool” it’s about being treated respectfully and equally and
having someone by your side when that doesn’t happen.
I might just have found that very place, but it’s early days
and there are more sleepless nights ahead.
