I've been on a journo's list of traumatised parents for a while now and got close to a TV interview but on that occasion it was too late in the day for him to travel south of the river and back in time for the evening news. Out of the blue I got another phone call and was given two days notice for an interview to be part of a report for Daybreak and ITN lunchtime news.
Dilemma, I knew that two days would never be enough time to undergo a complete makeover. Panic. I managed to squeeze in a hair appointment at Le Salon in shiny shopping centre between the school fete and evening meal. I didn't chase deals at trendy posh salon's this time not after my last experience. I had spent five hours sat in front of a mirror surrounded by staff twenty years younger than me. I'm sure they were trying to hold onto me for as long as possible for entertainment value. Instead I went to my trusted salon, the same one that does my sons hair.
After staring at my eyebrows for an hour it was clear to me that my tweezers were not going to cope or make much of an impact so I headed once more for the threaders. "I do moustache as well" Ooooh that was low. And then "No tighter, lift more" referring to me pulling on the skin above my eyebrows in order that it became taught enough. Aside from booking into a clinic for a "lift" there was not much more I could do.
I dashed back to the car park through all the secret alley ways and back streets I could so as not to scare people with my moustache and folds of puffy red skin. Sadly that meant no further progress obtaining beauty products.
By the day of the interview all had calmed down. "I have no moustache" I told myself "just my cute little blond fluff" but could it be it's going in the direction I dread through lack of oestrogen, no absolutely not, not yet, please! I opted for the no make up, natural look not trusting my existing selection.
One charming camera man and a "tuck your shirt in, slick your hair back, butter wouldn't melt in your mouth" journo arrived. It was all quick and slick and a little bit too close. It was screened at 6.06am next morning for about 3minutes then no more. Not the every half hour and lunch time news I'd been promised. I'd been bumped!
Now I have three theories as to why 1) Other news on new hacker with Autism took president 2) A political gag was applied re appalling treatment of children with disabilities within the existing Special Educational Needs (SEN) system. 3) I was too scary for day time telly.
I could ring the journo and find out, but gulp I think I already know the answer.
